Relationship, Intimacy, Sexuality & Embodiment Coaching for Couples
GROWTH - Develop a growth mindset both on your own and together so you can learn and grow through your challenges. We are constantly evolving, growing and deepening our connection and love with our partner. For that to happen we must be evolving. To stop growing is to lie stagnant, stuck in the past where nothing changes.
RESPONSIBILITY - Take responsibility for what is yours and nothing else. The childhood archetype is a victim that works to misdirect, falsify and blame. The adult archetype is an owner, honest and speaks the truth with love and courage.
TRUST - Trust is key to maintaining a successful relationship. Without trust, there is no foundation from which your relationship can grow and this starts with trusting yourself. Often our lack of trust for our partner is due to a lack of trust we have inside ourselves. Learn to trust yourself and the rest will follow.
SHADOWS - Learn to deeply know yourself, your shadows, the masks you wear and those of your partner. Get help to raise your awareness of what triggers you and name your shadows, understand them and learn to love and integrate them as best you can. Know how to soothe yourself and your partner. In short: DO THE WORK. No one’s going to do it for you.
POLARITY - Chemistry is created by developing polarity. Lack of polarity is created by power struggles between the masculine and feminine dynamics (not gender specific). Learn to dance between the masculine and feminine poles of leading and following with your partner and recreate the heat you had when you first met.
BOUNDARIES - Know how to create healthy boundaries and communicate them lovingly. Boundaries are all about developing your ability to understand, communicate and make a stand for how you want to be treated in your relationships. They’re the agreements that say if you want to be with me, this is how I want to be treated. Alternatively, you could always try a co-dependent relationship that says "I’ll let you treat me like X if you let me behave like Y”. I don’t advise it. Download my new Boundaries eBook here.
IGNORE - Know what to brush under the carpet and ignore, and what to deal with. This is a difficult one because there are some parts of your partner that may never change as much as you fight and fall out over them. The challenge is to distinguish between what those things are and how (and if) you can learn to deal with them.
SAFETY - One of the relationship currencies we value the most has changed from physical safety to emotional safety. Emotional safety enables vulnerability, trust, connection, intimacy, and love. How honest and loving your partner can be with you is proportional to how emotionally safe she feels.
CONFLICT - Your ability to fight well is one of the biggest determinates of a successful relationship. That’s why you must learn how to do conflict in such a way that you improve the connection in your relationship in such a way that doesn't leave you bolting for the door (more to come on this in future emails).
PRAISE - Brag about your partner to others. Tell your partner every day one thing you love about her from how luscious her lips are to how you noticed how sweetly she spoke to the lady in the supermarket. Find something you love, and tell her, it will revolutionise your relationship.