The Courage To Look WithinJul 13, 2020
You don’t know me. But maybe you think you do. You don’t know what I have been through. My past. My history. All that I carry in this lifetime.
You don’t know the pain or trauma I have endured. Hell, I’m not even aware of it all. But it lives somewhere in my body.
You might make up in your head that because I have made my work in service to healing and to love, that I shouldn’t still have my own work and healing to do. That I will not screw up. Make messes. Hurt others.
For you to assess and act as if you have me figured out from a glance or interaction, or from some words that I’ve written is a reflection of your own unwillingness to look and feel deeper. And from that same lens of your judgements you will likely collect any evidence to confirm your beliefs and biases about me and filter out the rest. The human mind is great at doing that.
What I want you to know is I am flawed. I do contradict myself. And I am a hypocrite.
I struggle to even live up to my own expectations. So how could I live up to yours that are secretly hovering over me.
I forgive you for your judgements. I can see that your preconceptions of who you think I am, have more to do with your own wounds, and your own past than they have to do with me.
But I’m letting you know they do hurt me. And being someone that knows the experience of judging others, I know they hurt you too.
We are all flawed. Most of us, making the most of what we were given and what resources we have or had in front of us.
We are all in this together. All of us fragments of one source. We have all lost our way in one way or another. We have all been hurt and have hurt others.
Self-righteousness is a poison. I know, because I have drunk from that bottle many times. It pains me every time I see shaming and condemning being used to try to correct others all over the interwebs and in person.
When we empathize and seek to understand perspectives beyond our own and take on the practice of forgiving we can all win.
This is much harder work than choosing sides. Because we have to take responsibility. We have to look at ourselves. We have to be bigger than our own pain and our ideas about the world and what is true. Let’s work together and help one another see beyond this illusion of separation that is devastating the entire planet. Yes, it sucks to be in the middle of a pandemic, where we are all living with uncertain futures.
But what sucks worse is people treating each other poorly founded on fragments of information that come into focus, based on some algorithm that we happen to get a glimpse of as our lives are quickly scrolling past us.