Why Men Need Lean Into Their EdgeAug 17, 2023
I want to share a potent perspective on personal growth with you, centered around the concept of embracing your edge to stay sharp, much like a blade. Life's journey is an intricate dance between comfort and challenge, between the known and the unknown. It's a journey that demands our active participation, our willingness to confront our edges in order to evolve into our highest potential.
In a world that often molds men into versions of themselves that are tolerable by societies standards, we can lose that edge in our quest to accommodate the needs of others.
Men often come to work with me because they've either lost that sense of who they really are at their core or never given themselves the chance to discover it. A life on autopilot will wear any man down into becoming a kind of dulled out version of himself. When we "check out" or dissociate into habitual unconscious patterns, it's like banging against the same wall over and over again.
The edge of sword becomes sharpened by intentional movement across the right kind of surface and in the right direction.
We need this kind of sharpening and refining as men.
While growth is not a linear path, sharpening ourselves happens when we are intentional about how we direct our attention and the environments we put ourselves in.
Life inevitably presents us with challenges - we can choose to actively engage with them or cautiously avoid them. How we navigate these challenges and lean into our edge significantly impacts our sharpness, growth, expansion, and effectiveness to create a impact and a fulfilling life.
A man who keeps himself sharp possesses the gift of penetration - an energetic quality that permeates his way of being, enabling precision, direction, and clarity. This "masculine" gift embodies a sense of purpose and impact, allowing him to lead his life with intention. Just as a blade requires honing to perform optimally, we too must continuously refine our skills and awareness to live a purpose-driven life.
Your growth edge is unique to where you are in your developmental path in specific areas. While one man may have his financial world completely dialed in, another man may have an avoidant relationship to managing money. When it comes to finding your edge, it's not about comparing yourself to others; it's about being honest and recognizing the areas in your life that require stepping up and becoming more effective.
For me personally, the concept of embracing my edges has been a transformative journey. In my intimate relationship, I've recognized the need to cultivate consistency in loving presence. It's easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and neglect the small moments that build the foundation of a strong partnership. By leaning into this edge, I've learned to show up with intention, even when it's uncomfortable or inconvenient. The result? A deeper connection and a more meaningful relationship.
Similarly, in my business endeavors, I've grappled with the challenge of consistency. Creating clear structures and being accountable to follow through with them has been a growth edge that required deliberate practice. It's easy to start projects with enthusiasm, but it's the consistent effort that truly propels them forward. Embracing this edge has not only elevated my business but has also instilled a sense of discipline and commitment that ripples through every aspect of my life.
Perhaps your growth edge involves practicing greater honesty with yourself and others, being punctual, or honoring your commitments. It could entail asking for what you desire, seeking help when needed, engaging in difficult conversations, requesting a raise, maintaining a consistent diet and exercise routine, or venturing beyond your comfort zone to take on new challenges.
Leaning into your edge requires a willingness to be with the anxiety, humility, and discomfort that accompanies anything new and unfamiliar. It's about acknowledging your discomfort and using it as a catalyst for transformation. By leaning into your edge, you open the door to unlocking your full potential and embracing a life of authenticity and purpose.
Modern society domesticates us towards ease and convenience. The result of this is a culture of masculinity that has lost its fire, its drive, and motivation to do the hard things that make life enriching.
Most of the men that come to work with me are torn between a façade of being "nice" and following the status quo and an untamed energy within that they don't know how to wield because they don't have appropriate spaces to explore that part of them.
What if embracing your edge meant tapping into that primal force, discovering your true power?
One of the quintessential venues that men have utilized since time immemorial to confront their edge is the wilderness. Nature has the ability to push us to meet our edges because its untamed quality confronts some of our most primal fears.
Embracing your growth edge is not just a concept, but a transformative process of self-discovery and empowerment. It's about recognizing your unique areas of growth, intentionally practicing in those areas, and embracing discomfort as a catalyst for transformation. By leaning into your edge, you tap into your true power and unlock the potential within yourself.
For men that are aware that their edge has grown a little dull and needs some sharpening, I invite you to join us for our upcoming Emergence Retreat in the High Sierras.
During this 4 day immersive journey to meet your inner wildness, Chris Kyle and I, will guide you through embodied practices, potent discussions, and nature-based experiences, to find clarity, insight, connection, and your authentic power.